Monday, December 28, 2009

Best Christmas Present Ever!

Wow--I wanted to blog about this because I have been waiting so long for this to happen. And when it would, I wanted it written down. Unfortunately, like most dreams, I don't have much to write about because I don't remember much of it....except what was most important.
Chase came to me last night. I remember having the dream and then waking up right afterwards and thinking what had just happened. I had such an incredibly warm feeling about the dream and knew it was Chase. I had dreamt about him before, but only his casket or his corpse---nothing that gave me warmth and happiness. But last night, I saw him. Like I said, I don't remember much about the dream but I remember holding him above my head looking up at him and he was just smiling away. His smile was so intriging to me in the dream, I don't know why. How sweet it was, though. I know there was more to the dream because when I woke up afterwards, I remember thinking about it and that it finally came. But then I went back to sleep and didn't think about it again until this morning when I was at the coffee shop with Karly.
We saw a baby come in and I told Karly that the baby was probably Chase's age--which was confirmed after I asked the dad. The baby was born just a couple weeks after Chase actually. So we talked about the baby and Karly asked me if that mom loved that baby as much as she should. Interesting question from a 7-year-old I thought. I asked her why and she said because the baby was crying in the car seat and the mom didn't take him out. I told her I thought the mom looked like a very good mom and sometimes babies cry but that is part of teaching them about patience--even when they are little babies. I laughed and told her that I don't think Chase would have cried very much because while I would have been too busy to pick him up for a moment, either she or Emma would have stepped in and picked him up until I could tend to his needs. I smiled at that thought but Karly cried. I held her hand and she told me how bad she wanted 2 things, well 3 things, she said. "I want to be able to fly (1), and (2) Chase to come back alive and (3), if Chase can't come back alive, I want another baby.
Ditto. All of that. Ditto for me, too, Karly Jo.
Thank you for the visit, sweet boy. You snuck in on me because I thought it would be a long time before I would see you. I love you so much, baby boy. I love you so so much.

17 comments:

  1. What a beautiful gift Christy! I don't remember my dreams very often either, but lately I have had a few where my girls were "present." By that I mean they existed, they still had dies, but they were part of my dream and that didn't start happening until very recently...I feel my "time" with them may be soon! Thinking of you my friend! xx
    P.S. I hope everyone loved their necklaces!!

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  2. I want all 3 of those things too!!!

    Hugs,
    Trisha

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  3. I love when they come visit in your dreams. I hope he comes back real soon!

    MB

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  4. That is a wonderful dream. When a dream or thought brings us peace we have to hold onto it because that peace is sooo precious. *hugs*

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  5. So happy for you... what an amazing gift... a beautiful, peaceful dream about your little boy.

    xo

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  6. I'm smiling so big for you right now! xx

    Thank you, sweet baby boy, for visiting your mama in her dreams. I know you've been there -- thank you for sticking around for her to feel your love back! We love you!

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  7. What a beautiful gift from God!

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  8. I'm so glad you dreamed about your baby boy! I am still waiting for my Jenna to visit me like this. Thank you for sharing this!

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  9. Christy, what a beautiful dream to have! I am so happy Chase visited you. I hope some day I get the same gift from my babies.

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  10. I'm so glad you had a visit from Chase. I waited what seemed like forever to dream of Calvin and when I did, it was the most beautiful "visit" I could have ever gotten. I think we need things like this, to answer our questions, to give us hope, to make us smile. Smiling with you...

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  11. What a beautiful dreams and seding you some {{HUGS}}
    Caroline

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  12. Beautiful, just absolutely beautiful. I hope that I get a visit like that someday and have a daughter as wonderful and caring as you do. Hugz.

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  13. I am so happy you were able to dream about Chase. I think we all have the same three wishes...I know I do. Hugs to you and your family.

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  14. Beautiful dream, Christy. I'm so glad Chase came to you in your dream and it gave you peace (I had a dream of George shortly after his stillbirth and remembering it still gives me such comfort). My heart aches for your wee girl - my boys and girl also have these moments and it's so hard to see them grieve. Thinking of you. (((Hugs)))

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  15. Christy ~ What a gift.

    Thank you for sharing your precious Chase with me. You have a beautiful family, and he will always be handsome.

    I am so sorry we both have to experience this great pain of losing our babies. I still think sometimes, "This really happened to us?"

    Your words have blessed my heart. I love what you wrote about although Chase is not in your arms, he is always in your heart and walking with you in a different kind of way.

    I feel such a bond with other moms who have babies in Heaven, and I am honored to "meet" you, Christy.

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  16. This is amazing. I'm so happy that you were able to have such an amazing dream like that. Thank you for sharing. Give me hope to see my angel one day

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  17. What a wonderful gift! I'm so glad that you got to experience that!!!!

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