Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christmas Tradition

I'm not the best at traditions with our family. Not like I remember growing up when we did the same thing every year for the holidays. I guess you could look at it that I'm keeping every year new and exciting. Nah, I'm just slack at keeping up with traditions. We don't go around looking at lights every year. This year we didn't attend any of the town's annual Christmas events. There are very specific reasons for not attending some of them and the others, I guess it wasn't important enough to me this year or we would have participated. That and things are different. Holiday spirit is so extremely difficult when you are missing someone...and missing a part of you.
One thing I guess we always DO do is cut out cookies and decorate them. I can be proud of doing that every year that the kids can remember so far. As I was getting ready tonight to do this, I remembered very vividly doing this last year. I felt sooo old because I was hugely pregnant. And tired. My feet ached by the time we were through. Cleaning up was a bear. But Chase was there. I know he was part of that. As I got things ready tonight and the kids were so excited to start, I couldn't help but get sad. Listening to them, and all their commotion, I missed Chase so badly. He should have been in the middle of this mess, sitting in his high chair, eating cookie dough for the first time.
But the kids did a great job and had a lot of fun doing it. It's fun to watch them work on each individual masterpiece and put their flare into it. I am so lucky to have them. I can't believe how lucky I am. They are awesome. Here are a couple pictures....I got to decorate a few, even, in between making more frosting, coloring it and making sure the mess didn't get too out of control. Again, I'm exhausted. But in a very different way. Wishing things were different.

Wishing you all sweet dreams and many Christmas blessings,


  1. I wish things were different too and your Chase was there with you. I am so proud of you for doing this cookie tradition in spite of your heartache. It looks like you'll had a blast :)

  2. I so wish Chase was there in his high chair while you made cookies. He was there in spirit though watching. The cookies look great! I am glad you continued with your tradition on making the cookies and love that you decorated some for Chase. We made angel cookies this year, some pink and some blue for my sweet babies.

  3. Thank you for your comment today. I was just sitting here totally bummed out by somone elses comment and then I got yours. It helped.

    Hugs and Christmas kisses!


  4. All I can say is that I love you!!! Thank you for having my back.

    Hoping that we can both find JOY in the good tomorrow and not let "what should be" consume us. Thanking God for Jesus tonight!


  5. A very Merry Christmas to you. to Chase and your whole family. My this new year bring you peace.