.....to what? To even more uncertainty? As my due date nears (okay, I'm not thinking due date, I'm thinking about 2 weeks BEFORE my due date), my emotions are rollercoastering. As the economy plummets (?!) and our finances still are hard to handle, I have to admit I am now looking at the financial side of having another baby. We have never really looked at another child as a financial burdern. We've always had good insurance so that was never a problem and our budget always had room for the baby necessities and then some. Disposable diapers, baby food, binkies, toiletries, wipes, etc. etc. etc. It was an added expense, but one that certainly was not a bother. With the state we are in now, however, I look at things like traveling, hotel rooms, airfare, that seem almost impossible with 4 kids. Let alone the cost of eating out and clothes shopping or whatever. Granted, 2 years ago when we decided we wanted/needed a 4th child to complete our family, these thoughts were not even in existence. But low and behold by the time we get to this point, everything has changed.
I know brighter days are ahead and I know we'll get back on our feet. But what I know and feel very strongly is that our family is ready for this. I know we are all excited about meeting our newest member and watching him/her grow as the other 3 have. I know that this family will be bursting with the love we have to share with this little individual and that he/she will have an amazing life filled with faith, hope and love from being a part of this family. I watch Patric with the kids and can't believe how incredible a father he is with them and can't wait to see him starting over with another little peanut to love from scratch. And the best part of it all is that this, this is what makes us richer. We'll be fine, no doubt. But more importantly, we are incredibly blessed with a whole lotta love that doesn't cost a thing.