I don't really have time to write this post right now but I'm going to see how far I get. Because I know very well that if I don't stop myself in midair, I will never have time to do small things like this....like updating my memory-keepers.
I'll start with the camping trip that I posted about last. It was a blast. Camping these days is hardly like camping as I remember growing up. Roughing it no longer means sleeping with just a sleeping bag and the tarp-like tent floor between you and the earth. For us, it meant no running water and no toilet. Thank God we had comfortable beds and air-conditioning and electricity! Because how did we ever function on "vacation" under those sleeping conditions? THere is no way I could sleep like that anymore! And the rest of my family that we camped with had all of our luxuries (from our one-room cabin) plus running water and toilets in their campers. So like everything else, camping has changed. But the games haven't. We still played tag in the water, jumped off rafts and tubes, and swam in water we that we peed in. Making memories just like we did when I was a kid. Spending time with family and learning things about nature (like finding a baby rattlesnake by our cabin!) that can not be duplicated. I'm so blessed to have these memories and share them with the people that mean the most to me!
And I have to save the triathlon and concert for another post....
Monday, July 23, 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Family Camping Trip 2012 Trailer from Christy Pearson on Vimeo.
This was fun to make. We got back from camping this weekend. Had a blast. Lots of memories. Time well spent. Not nearly as relaxing to come home as after my last vacation..... oh well!
If you like this, and have an extra 10 minutes of your day, and would like to see some EXCELLENT wipeouts on the tube, go to my Videos page and watch the Family Camping Trip 2012 video. Thanks for watching!
Friday, June 22, 2012
Five Minute Friday: Risk
Linking up with The Gypsy Mama today to participate in this week's word: Risk. This is where we get to write what comes to mind; unedited. For just five minutes.
GO:
Risk
Life is full of risks. We take some, we pass on some, and we live with the choices we make. Ten years ago I would have said my greatest risks were deciding to be a stay-at-home mom and taking the financial plunge to allow me to work from home. I got a return on my investment. Tenfold. That was one of the smartest decisions I ever made and though it was risky leaving a full-time job with benefits, I have never looked back wishing I had done it differently.
I would not consider myself a gambler, at all actually. But I have married a man who yearns for calculated risk and considers risks not taken as opportunities lost rather than resisting temptations. Together we have come a long way. We've had our peaks and valleys and ridden through a lot of bumps, a LOT of bumps, along the way. We've diverted our paths and our journey has changed in ways we never conceived. These have all made me who I am and made us who we are.
These are traits I already see in our little ones. I hope more than anything, they seek us out when facing some of their risks. We can't make any tough decisions for them. But we can make them see things a little clearer.
STOP
GO:
Risk
Life is full of risks. We take some, we pass on some, and we live with the choices we make. Ten years ago I would have said my greatest risks were deciding to be a stay-at-home mom and taking the financial plunge to allow me to work from home. I got a return on my investment. Tenfold. That was one of the smartest decisions I ever made and though it was risky leaving a full-time job with benefits, I have never looked back wishing I had done it differently.
I would not consider myself a gambler, at all actually. But I have married a man who yearns for calculated risk and considers risks not taken as opportunities lost rather than resisting temptations. Together we have come a long way. We've had our peaks and valleys and ridden through a lot of bumps, a LOT of bumps, along the way. We've diverted our paths and our journey has changed in ways we never conceived. These have all made me who I am and made us who we are.
These are traits I already see in our little ones. I hope more than anything, they seek us out when facing some of their risks. We can't make any tough decisions for them. But we can make them see things a little clearer.
STOP
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
A dream I dream
I've been dreaming a lot lately--remembering bits and pieces when I wake up anyway. Something I haven't done for years. And a couple days ago I had a dream that I'd like to think was Chase, though I'm not really sure.
I don't remember much of it just the part about Chase. If I had written it down immediately, I would have remembered more, but I didn't--I was just focused on that little piece as it happened right before I woke up.
Like I said, there's not much to it. But Patric and I were together. We were looking into a bunch of bushes or little trees somewhere--I have no idea where we were. And I saw a little boy. We might have even said his name, I don't remember, but the little boy came out of the trees and gave me the biggest, tightest hug you can imagine. And boy did I return it! The only reason I can't say for sure if it was Chase or not was because this little boy was bigger than a three year old. He was, however, about the size of some little boys I had recently seen in a show and made a very prominent connection to Chase.
I don't know. But the hug. The embrace. It felt like a welcome home embrace. Maybe not welcome home, but it definitely was an "I miss you sooooooo much" hug. And it was right before I woke up in the morning. So it brought a few tears throughout the day as I thought about that dream a lot. Still do. I know he comes to me. I know he's watching over us and he's with us all the time. But I know he's a part of other people's lives, too. He's helping taking care of a lot of people. Some I may not even know. Yet.
I miss you sweet boy. I love you. And I can't wait for that hug. I can almost feel it already.
love,
mom
I don't remember much of it just the part about Chase. If I had written it down immediately, I would have remembered more, but I didn't--I was just focused on that little piece as it happened right before I woke up.
Like I said, there's not much to it. But Patric and I were together. We were looking into a bunch of bushes or little trees somewhere--I have no idea where we were. And I saw a little boy. We might have even said his name, I don't remember, but the little boy came out of the trees and gave me the biggest, tightest hug you can imagine. And boy did I return it! The only reason I can't say for sure if it was Chase or not was because this little boy was bigger than a three year old. He was, however, about the size of some little boys I had recently seen in a show and made a very prominent connection to Chase.
I don't know. But the hug. The embrace. It felt like a welcome home embrace. Maybe not welcome home, but it definitely was an "I miss you sooooooo much" hug. And it was right before I woke up in the morning. So it brought a few tears throughout the day as I thought about that dream a lot. Still do. I know he comes to me. I know he's watching over us and he's with us all the time. But I know he's a part of other people's lives, too. He's helping taking care of a lot of people. Some I may not even know. Yet.
I miss you sweet boy. I love you. And I can't wait for that hug. I can almost feel it already.
love,
mom
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Things People Say
I had a post about this early on my grief journey. Things people said that hurt, whether it was intentional or not, or just not thought about before they said it.
Today I was at my dentist appointment where I had dental surgery last November getting a routine checkup. The hygienist was super sweet, very kind and very gentle (if that's even possible in a dentist office). We had the typical surface-type conversations, with most of it being on her end as I could not really speak if I wanted to. She finished with the painful part--ultrasonic yuck--and polished and then flossed. As she was flossing and talking about the surgery I had had done, she commented that she has, in fact, heard from some female patients that dental surgery was worse than labor. I nodded my head in agreement and then she said, "at least at the end of labor you get this beautiful baby to hold in your arms and on top of that an endorphin-high feeling! You don't get that after dental surgery!"
The words cut straight through my soul. I knew she meant well. But in reality, she didn't know what the hell she meant. Or said. Obviously she had never experienced or known anyone that has experienced loss. I thought about correcting her and then thought twice. I figured informing her about the pain of infant loss wasn't worth making her feel terribly rotten for what she said. But then again, maybe I could have enlightened her. Opened her eyes to a new world, if anything, of what NOT to say to a patient, even though you never thought it could be that way. Babies. It's all happiness. Bliss. Pure. Bright. That's what some people think, anyway.
I probably would have said those words at one point in my life. Maybe I have even, I don't know. But the thing is nothing's guaranteed. Nothing. No matter how hard it is when you are going through it, no matter how hard you work at it, no matter how "worth-it" it's supposed to be. Sometimes it just doesn't go that way. So, no, labor can sometimes be just like dental surgery. A lot of pain, maybe even traumatic, and you walk out of the office with nothing to show for what you went through.
ETA: I wasn't angry with her. I'm used to this. There are a LOT of things that people say AND that I don't say anymore, that take on a new meaning (or the original meaning in the literal sense) when you've lost a child. Like I said, she was a very sweet woman. But it doesn't mean the words still didn't make my heart ache. It's life as we know it on this journey. Just something I wanted to blog about because it was on my mind a lot.
Today I was at my dentist appointment where I had dental surgery last November getting a routine checkup. The hygienist was super sweet, very kind and very gentle (if that's even possible in a dentist office). We had the typical surface-type conversations, with most of it being on her end as I could not really speak if I wanted to. She finished with the painful part--ultrasonic yuck--and polished and then flossed. As she was flossing and talking about the surgery I had had done, she commented that she has, in fact, heard from some female patients that dental surgery was worse than labor. I nodded my head in agreement and then she said, "at least at the end of labor you get this beautiful baby to hold in your arms and on top of that an endorphin-high feeling! You don't get that after dental surgery!"
The words cut straight through my soul. I knew she meant well. But in reality, she didn't know what the hell she meant. Or said. Obviously she had never experienced or known anyone that has experienced loss. I thought about correcting her and then thought twice. I figured informing her about the pain of infant loss wasn't worth making her feel terribly rotten for what she said. But then again, maybe I could have enlightened her. Opened her eyes to a new world, if anything, of what NOT to say to a patient, even though you never thought it could be that way. Babies. It's all happiness. Bliss. Pure. Bright. That's what some people think, anyway.
I probably would have said those words at one point in my life. Maybe I have even, I don't know. But the thing is nothing's guaranteed. Nothing. No matter how hard it is when you are going through it, no matter how hard you work at it, no matter how "worth-it" it's supposed to be. Sometimes it just doesn't go that way. So, no, labor can sometimes be just like dental surgery. A lot of pain, maybe even traumatic, and you walk out of the office with nothing to show for what you went through.
ETA: I wasn't angry with her. I'm used to this. There are a LOT of things that people say AND that I don't say anymore, that take on a new meaning (or the original meaning in the literal sense) when you've lost a child. Like I said, she was a very sweet woman. But it doesn't mean the words still didn't make my heart ache. It's life as we know it on this journey. Just something I wanted to blog about because it was on my mind a lot.
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