Christmas Joys

Christmas Morning 2010

Remembering Chase Always

We had a wonderful Christmas Day this year as my sister and her family visited us from Nebraska.  The cousins had a wonderful time with their cousins and we did several holiday traditions including, but not limited to, sledding, making reindeer food, Christmas cookies, and opening presents.  The time flew by as I knew it would and now I am sitting here reflecting how thankful I am that my family was able to visit and share such an joyous event with us.  Christmas morning was again an emotional time for me and as much joy as I found in this little one kicking me and constantly loving on me with his movements as well as sharing this time with my sister, the pain and sadness of Chase not being amongst all this chaos tore at my heartstrings.  I know he was here.....just not how I wanted it to be.  I love and miss you little man.  As much as the day you were born.

Merry Christmas to all....

Merry Whimsy Christmas

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Christmas festivities

We are so very busy right now.   Some days I can't believe how hectic things are.  Then the next day seems to be just as if not more hectic and I begin to wonder if things will ever slow down.  Here are some pics of the programs the kids have been performing in.

Reese's Kindergarten Program with Santa afterwards.

The kids at their church program.

I will post this on my other blog but I did want to mention that I had to go to the hospital (here) to get my weekly BPP & NST done here...something I was having some anxiety about since I have not been back to the OB dept since Chase was born.  I had avoided as much of the hospital as I could and was hoping to skip out on this appointment but decided to meet it head on.  I called in the morning to the OB nurse's station to make sure they were expecting me the day of my appointment and the nurse who answered happened to be my nurse I had when I was in labor all day with Chase.  I had not seen her or spoken to her since then and she was the one single person I had secretly wanted to encounter....yet did not want to at the same time.  The day ended up being crazy because one of the kids was sick, the other ended up needing labs done that day, then went on to school, so my plan of not going to this appointment unaccompanied did not pan out...and I needed to just get it over with.  

The ultrasound tech was very nice and she totally caught me off guard by telling me the baby had lots of hair already.  And she showed me how she could tell--that was one of the coolest things I had never seen before.  Then when I went to get my NST done, I was met by my old nurse and we hugged and cried together for a brief moment.  A moment that was so long awaited for, yet so distant in my mind, too.  I had thought so much of her and was never able to discuss the events that had taken place with her and to finally get that chance was almost like the last missing link to my puzzle.  She was so happy to see me there under the circumstances (being pregnant) yet the tragedy was so fresh for both of us.  I am not sure I will go back, but if I have to....I will.   My Abq appointments continue next week and this pregnancy just keeps moving along, fairly uneventful and peaceful.  This is a picture at 31 weeks with Reese after his Christmas Program.  He loved taking pictures with me during Chase's pregnancy--always had to put his hand on my tummy.  So, so precious.

Giveaway Winners

Sorry it has taken me so long to post the winners this morning.  Thank you to everyone who entered and thank you for leaving sharing those things that are important to you.  Many gave me ideas for things I would like to have or create.  I also met many new BLM friends and read their stories that I had not come across yet.  For me, this is the one of the biggest reasons for participating in this project and though I am sad for all of us even being part of this community, it is always nice to meet someone new that you can relate to and who understands your feeling, thoughts, worries, etc.  Right?  Thank you again, sweet Tina for creating this opportunity for us all.  The network you have started and nurture is priceless to us!

Now for the winners.....

The random number generator chose the numbers and they are.......#18 &  #6.  Congratulations to Teresa Farmer and The Zoo!  My email is on my profile page.  Contact me and I will get you your coupon codes! Thanks to all, again, for entering and sharing your stories with me.

Don't forget to check out today's giveaway on Tina's blog!

25 Days of Giveaways

Today is my giveaway for the  25 Days of Giveaways.  Thank you to Tina for this wonderful idea of helping babyloss moms through the holidays.   I remembered doing this last year and it was certainly a needed "distraction" during such a difficult time.  Our thoughts are never very far away from our babies but at least there was a focus....something to think about and look forward to each day and share with others that are on this journey.  I met several BLM friends through this and, as I have already this month, have found new stories and old stories and some of them very similar to what I went through.  These friends helped me through tough days and I would do the same with comforting comments or emails, letting them know someone else was walking very close to them on a very similar path.  This community is therapy for many of us....therapy we could have paid a professional for, but never received the empathy of "I've been there...so I know how you feel."  Thank you to everyone out there who has helped a fellow baby loss mom out with kind and comforting comments, an email, a letter, or whatever form of support you offer.  

And on to my giveaway!  When Chase died, my sister found this wonderful website and worked with the creator on a custom canvas that perfectly represented our little boy.   They spent a lot of time on getting the art just right, the words just right and everything she wanted it to say.....while keeping it a secret from me the entire time!  The creator of this website is an artist that loves every piece she creates and does so with a compassion and care that gives the customer the most adorable, special piece of art to display.  The balloons on this canvas are the exact colors that we sent off to Chase the day we got home from the hospital, the number of balloons for each person in our family, his stats, the words that we said to him.  Everything was perfect--couldn't have been more fitting.   She also had a Picture Pal made that matched the canvas!  It was very touching and I was very emotional when she gave it to me.  Thank you to Therese for all her time in creating the special piece for me and my family!

So this is what I am giving away today......TWO (2) $25 gift certificates to Farmhouse Five for you to choose your special piece(s) for your little one.  I promise you will absolutely love her store and find several things to choose from.  The quality of work is amazing....just like her talent.   Leave me a comment and if you like, tell me what is your most special "thing" that you have made or had made that represents your angel baby.  Tonight I will use random.or.g. to choose the winners so check back tomorrow to see if it is you!

Thanks for reading & Happy Holidays to you all!