Wednesday, March 21, 2012

What I know now

I'm saying hello to a new decade in my life this summer and as I do so, I am already looking back on the last few decades of my life and realizing some of the lessons I have learned a long the way.

I've learned that...

Time really does go by faster when you have kids.  Enjoying it, savoring it is key.

I can never have too many pictures.  Or home videos.

The number on the scale doesn't mean anything.  It's the clothes and how they fit.

I don't need a size Small just because the torso fits.  The sleeves are still always too short.

Time really can stand still and keep moving all at once.

You don't always need physical contact and spoken words to feel or give love.

I can put me first and still make everyone else they are.  That's what jogging strollers are for.

My kids enjoy spending time alone with me as much as I do with them.

Money doesn't make me happy.  It just takes the stress off.  And that may or may not help find what actually does make me happy.

The difference between needs and wants.  If I can't afford it, I don't buy it.  I need flour, bread, eggs and milk.  I want Dooney, Seven, Nike and Opi.

Greenbeans really aren't that bad.  And I actually like asparagus.

"Do as I say not as I do" is a copout.  I hate when I do this to my kids.

Facebook is for what people want you to think about them.  Period.

Asking questions  is always worth it before jumping right in.  Someone else has already been where you are.  Take advantage of that.

Go with your gut.  Sometimes your brain just isn't working or capable of it.  It's called shock.

There are times when you will not have any idea what to do, think or say.  In these times, just be.  There's nothing else you can expect of yourself.  You will not regret this.

Take everything with a grain of salt.  Some people just don't get it...but that's them and this is you.

Tell those you love how important they are to you and tell them often.

The woman ahead of me in the checkout line or beside me at the traffic light has no idea that my heart is broken and will never heal.  Don't blame her for not knowing.  She may be about to experience the same thing.  ****(this is very complicated---it means so many different things to me.)

Do not expect great things of other people.  Unless their your kids.

I love triangle pose.  As a yoga teacher once told me: "one foot is in the future, one foot is in the past, and your head, your heart, your hands, your core are in the present."

Worrying is an option.

It's hard to have no regrets.  But try to have as few as possible.

Other people don't make a person happy.  They have to be happy with themselves first.

And a few things I'm trying to learn or figure out right now.....

How to teach confidence in my kids.

How to be their best friend and their parent at the same time.

How to master crane pose.

I have not set my son's headstone....because I think I want to have him laid to rest somewhere closer and more accessible to us.

When to argue.

How to argue peacefully.  (oxymoron, I know)

How to be a better wife.  Struggling right now with this one....


That's it for now.  I think this list (these lists) will keep going.  Might be something my kids will look back at and actually read one day, huh?  lol!  These things are just off my head...some are related, some are totally unrelated.  Don't judge me by this list.  Try making one for yourself!


  1. You have many great things you have learned....I'm very proud of the woman you are becoming....yes, I will say it: You are growing up! :)

    I am sad, however that you feel you shouldn't expect great things out of people, but maybe that's just one I am still refusing to learn...

    I do have to one reprimand:
    It is IMPOSSIBLE to be your child's friend and parent at the same time!
    You should want to help them find friends that will have the same values and beliefs that you have so you can be confident when they spread their wings and fly. Trust me, this is a GOOD thing. They will have LOTS of friends...only ONE MOM!!! I could go on and on about this one, but we need to be face to face so I can hug you when you get done crying about it becuase you KNOW. I'M. RIGHT!!!!!!!!!

    I LOVE YOU and MISS you tons!


    Technology is wonderful, but does not replace REAL life! A handwritten note, a school picture, a face to face conversation.

    1. You are right about that-the best friend/parent thing. I just hate letting go no matter how small those baby steps are and how soon they begin. H.A.T.E. I.T.

      And I DO expect great things out of you, by the way. Its the general population I"ve given up on. That's been a tough lesson to learn. Someone once told me to "just be the best that I can be".....and only I can be me, no one else. (don't know if that made sense....) Miss you, too. Tons.

    2. Of course that made sense....I'm the one that told you, silly! :)

      I know...I KNOW....I K.N.O.W. I can literally feel time slipping away. Talk about wings...Simon's teetering on the edge of the nest! I'm already emotional about it...5 summers and he's gone. :( But I'm his only Mom, his "best" Mom (and worst, I suppose)...
      TRYing to enjoy each moment - instead of counting down all the "last" moments...last travel team, last Jr. High game, etc...yep, I hate it, too. Glad you're here to help me through it :)

  2. And I'm not judging you....just missing you....

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