Friday, October 5, 2012


This month is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month and I've been participating in CarlyMarie's Capture Your Grief 2012 project.  It's been a little more challenging and emotional than I had anticipated.  And time consuming.  But it has been therapeutic and comforting.  You can post your photo on Instagram and/or Facebook and it has been so emotional to read the posts.  I don't even touch the surface of all who are sharing but I am still moved.  I am touched by the things that people post particular to the place they are in their journey.  I am also affected by the men that post, maybe because they have a FB account and it's that easy to do.  They are not necessarily blogging type dads but they put their feelings out there nonetheless, when given the medium.  Seeing them hurt  and share their feelings is emotional.  Also I'm moved by those that have just joined this community from recent losses.  It reminds me of the way I felt and how much I still feel that way in some respects.  Proving that the pain never does go away.  I have been very emotional about finding Chase's things to photograph and have seen some things I haven't looked at in a very long time.  The tears that come with this have been healing in some ways, too.  

I have also been reading some blogs of moms who have lost or are losing their young children to cancer.  It's painful to read but, like pregnancy and infant loss, it's not talked about because it's an uncomfortable topic and until people start talking about it enough, the care and treatment for children with cancer will not get better.  It is amazing what some people can accomplish on this earth when their anger is channeled into creating good out of evil.  These moms truly are making a difference.   I know Ronan and Ty are so lucky to have the moms they do.  Amazing women.

We have our trip planned in the middle of this month so I will actually be on a beach for the 15th, just not Christian's.  But I will anxiously be awaiting the photos Carly will be posting.  Here is a photo of the flag I made for Chase.

I am so glad I sent my flag in early because I actually got a personal email from her saying she got it, which I was very grateful for because when I mailed it I pretty much just crossed my fingers!  Oh, and she also sent me this photo for Chase.  
Anyway, I saw some pictures of other flags she had already received and was quite humbled, to say the least.  I told her this and she let made me feel very good about my flag.  I have to say, the best thing about this was that I finally got to work on a project for Chase--like a school project for the other kids.  I had my time set aside only for Chase.  I had to get it in the mail pretty quickly by the time I found out about the project so I just used things I had around the house.  To me, each piece of it means something, though to anyone else, it might look plain.  I wanted it simple, but my resources were scrap pieces of material and ribbons.  The yellow fabric I chose, though, was fabric I had bought when Emma was a baby.  It has Winnie the Pooh sewn into it and I never got around to using it for whatever I had bought it for.  Until now.  Chase will be represented on Christian's Beach October 15th and I know he will like having his own flag!  I can't wait to catch that sunrise myself.   More pictures to follow.  Until then, check in on my Capture Your Grief photos here.

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