The kids are always remembering and talking about Chase, every chance they get. Being very careful about how they share their brother's story and who they share it with, they are still very comfortable mentioning his name or talking about him in school as if Chase is living in our house, sharing our physical lives as well as spiritual. I am getting used to these things.....things that used to take my breath away or catch me off guard, now are "normal" occurrences. However, sometimes, there are still things that make my heart skip a beat....or send me particularly comforting feelings. This, for instance, is a picture Reese drew today at school.
Reese's class was talking about freedom today and the teacher asked them to draw a picture of what freedom is to them. Reese's picture says "freedom is to sleep in" (which he asked me tonight to please, PLEASE, let him sleep in tomorrow morning). And then the picture he drew was of a bunk bed with three bunks so he and both of his brothers could all have their own bed. (Of course Reese has the top bunk. Chase is on the bottom and Owen is in the middle.) I thought it was so cool that he thought of both of his brothers equally like this. And I think he does almost all the time. I wish I could. I wish I could act like Chase lives with us...physically. I do sometimes; I have images in my head, but with Reese's picture, I can almost envision it. I am so thankful my little boy knows both his brothers.
This is Karly's picture that she drew to decorate her Friday Folder:
A rainbow, a butterfly and the sun. Beautifully colored. She said it was a picture of all the things that make her think of Chase. I am thankful for these things. And Emma shares her brother at school, too. She wrote a story about a little girl who lost her baby brother when she was nine years old. This little girl climbs a mountain and on the other side sees nothing but sweet beauty and all good things....something she refers to as Heaven. Right now, she's at 9 pages...don't know how long it will be!!
I love my kids with every beat of my heart. I'm so lucky to be their mom. All five of them.